I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
