I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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