he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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