well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
