drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
