dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
