it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
