she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
