you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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