well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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