there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
