You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
