Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
