i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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