does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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