I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
