girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
