we have officially lost it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
