I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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