I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
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being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ya canβt just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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