I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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