im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
