Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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