Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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