I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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