Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize