If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Michael Bay diarrhea
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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