That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
