Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
