Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
