So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
