Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
