They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
A bitchslap is in order.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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