I hate your face
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
