Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You're like the curious george of whores
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
