My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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