did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
