Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
