these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
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I must have missed that part of Torah. What book is that in?
You have GOT to be kidding. There are six hundred and thirteen commandments, two hundred and forty eight of things not to do, 365 of things you have to do. Even if you don't believe in the Oral Law, the five books of the Old Testament have more commandments and restrictions on those three things than you're making it sounds. This religion is not designed for party animals