420 ftw
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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