Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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