Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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