this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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