Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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