That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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