thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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