i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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