I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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