Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
