when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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