His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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