Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
