She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
