She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
