I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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