eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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