dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
