Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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