My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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