Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
