So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
