Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
