your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
