Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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