Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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